I Wonder......

I just finished watching The Bachelor. I watch it every season, because like most women, I have a tendency to like all the fairy tale/love/romance stuff. This season was great because our 'guy' was a gorgeous Brit who was everything any young girl dreams of in a man. Including this blogger. However, it's all just that....a dream. Let me explain.

If you are not familiar with "The Bachelor"....it's show that has a single guy looking for someone to marry. Throw 25 beautiful women into the mix and let him date/mingle with/smooch/mess around with them all, and at the end he makes his choice after eliminating many a tearful and broken hearted girl. I find the show to be fairly entertaining, although it has become pretty much predictable, I keep coming back for more. Monday begins a new show....this time, "The Bachelorette"....looking forward to it.

Dont' get me wrong, I really enjoy the show, or I would not be watching. I just have a few issues with it. First of all, I can't see where anyone can date a person (or two or three or four) for six short weeks and KNOW that this other human being is who you want to spend the rest of your life with. For anyone who doesn't know, I am divorced and I dated my ex husband for almost 5 years before we said "I do" and we still didn't make it. It took us 11 years and two children later to figure out that we didn't belong together, so the point I am trying to make is this: How can you want to marry someone you barely know and believe it can work??

I know, I know....years ago, in our grandparents day and even our parents, you rarely heard about divorce and for the most part, these older generations took the vow "Til death do us part" to heart. Most of them knew each other for a very short time and some even had arranged marriages but yet they still made it, no matter what. I applaud them and I admire them. When I said my vows, I meant every word and I never thought that I would be a statistic. I guess maybe that is how these folks feel also.

One thing that I don't think many people stop to realize is this: Marriage is a vow to stay in a committed monogamous relationship......FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!! That is a long time people......a very long time with the same person, day after day, year after year....in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer....blah blah blah! I read something from Dr. Phil once, that most people spend months and months planning a wedding. But when do they stop to plan their marriage? I dont' think many people do that. It's all about the glitz and the glamour of a big party with a huge fancy dress and more food than an Army could eat. But what happens when the party is over and the pictures start to fade? Hmmmm.....

I am not saying that anyone who is married won't last. I am not saying that I don't believe in marriage. I am not saying that everyone is destined to be divorced. What I am saying is that people need to sit down and think about what they are doing. Is this person someone I can wake up and go to bed with every single day until I die? Marriage is a lifelong commitment, not a joyride that you can just jump off of when the feeling hits you.

One day I would like to be married again.....I think! :) It's a scary thing that takes lots of work and effort and cannot be taken lightly. They say that second marriages have an even higher divorce rate than first marriages, so that thought really freaks me out. When I do decide (if ever) to take the plunge again, it won't be without lots of thought and considerations.