However, it is also very different. Many things are going to be happening in the days, weeks and months to come. I suppose some of them will be good and others not so good. All I can do is pray that the outcome will be mostly good.
A couple of weeks ago, I started feeling something 'just not right' in my right side. I had my gallbladder removed a little over a year ago so at first I just chalked it up to scar tissue or other organs just repositioning themselves. After a few days the discomfort went around to my lower back and I felt it was time to seek out a doctor's opinion.
The first test I had done was a urinalysis and it showed traces of blood, but I was told it was not a kidney infection and I would need further testing. Last week I had a test done that is basically an X-ray of your kidneys, to rule out a kidney stone. This test revealed something that lead me to another test to focus further in on several other things. A CT scan. Side note: The barium drink they require you to swallow is totally disgusting and puke-inducing! I held it down though...barely!
The following day, I finally got a call from the nurse telling me that my kidneys are fine. They are fine, but I am not. There is, in fact, not one but TWO different issues I am looking at. One is that my uterus is a bit 'enlarged' and has what looks like benign cysts in it. (wonderful!) I am to see my gynecologist for a follow-up on that as soon as possible. Personally, I see a hysterectomy in my near future.
If that was not enough, there is an issue with my liver! All I heard her say was something about blood vessels and more intense testing and my heart sinking to the ground!
Basically this is why I have not been blogging/vlogging/commenting, etc. I am still here but not feeling up to par, although I still have been working and doing my daily routine. My concentration on any one thing right now is rough.
I wish that I could end my predicament right here and end this post, but I can not. There is more.........
My ex husband called me up a few months ago (about 8, I believe) and told me that he had been to the doctor and was going in for further testing on his heart. The man is only 38 years old, so I thought it could not possibly be anything. After some pretty intense testing of his own, he was told that he needs open heart surgery! He needs aortic valve replacement....I'll explain:
Your heart has 3 main valves that run through it, pumping blood. He only has two and they are only working at 22% capacity. What this surgery would do is open up the blood flow and give him that extra valve he needs to save him from dropping dead. The doctor he saw last week told him he needed this surgery 'yesterday' and told him he needs it done ASAP!
Most people hate their ex-spouse and for whatever reasons I guess they are entitled. I see mine as a partner in raising our children. Someone I can confide in when our daughters need anything. He supports me as a parent, financially and with as much help as I need. Honestly, he is our biggest financial support. I receive more from him than I make at my job. When the girls have an issue, we talk it through and find a way to solve it. Together.
My girls need him. I need him. Honestly, we all need each other. I am pretty much a basket case right now, but taking it one day at a time.
When I told him the results of my test he said that everything was going to work out and we would all be ok. I am hoping and praying that what he said is true and that this is just another stumble for us until we can get back on our feet and keep on running.
If it is not too much to ask, I hope that anyone who was able to sit and read through all of this can take the smallest amount of time out of your day to send a prayer to heaven, or throw out a positive vibe or thought our way. Any little bit will be deeply appreciated and returned to you in abundance.
The quicker that we take care of our situations, the sooner we will all be back to normal. I never wanted my blog to be about the horrors of health problems and troubles at home. However, after much consideration of the issues at hand, and what this place is to me, I knew that coming here and pouring it all out into words would be one of my first steps to healing. We are not going down without a fight and I will be here through it all to use this avenue as a way to clear my mind and share my feelings. Good or bad.
Thanks to the few of you who emailed and checked in on me. I appreciate it more than you know. God bless you all.
11 comments:
Hello Amy. I've also noticed that you were not blogging lately. I chose to keep quiet because I was thinking that you might be busy with your own work and family. I never realized that you are in a trying moment.
I felt sad and partly worried about myself too. I have to thank you for sharing your story because you gave me a wake up call. I also need to take care of my health.
I may not be there to directly extend my help but you will surely be included in my prayers. I pray that you will have the courage and strength to overcome this test. Be strong and hold on. There are reasons why things are bound to happen. We may or may not be able to know. But at the end of the day, there is always a brighter tomorrow that awaits us. We are here for you Amy.
I've noticed your absence in the blogging world, and I'm sad to hear you've been having so many challenges. My prayers are yours, and you and your children and ex are in my thoughts.
I'm so sorry that this has happened to your family. I will be praying for both you and your husband, as well as your children. I'm sending hugs and positive thoughts your way!!
Oh gosh, when you said there was something else up I had a feeling it had to do with your ex, but never thought it was something like that! He's still so young. Hang in there and keep on top of it. I may be many miles away but remember I'm here for you if you ever need a shoulder!
Hugs!
Prayer said and will continue to be said for you and your family.
I will DEFINITELY say a prayer for you and your ex!!
It will all work out, it's just getting through the muck to the other side that's the hard part.
God knows your heart and what you need. Just be glad that He blessed you with this pain that gave you a clue something was wrong so you can get it fixed.
: )
I am sending all my postive energy your way!!!
HUGS AMY!!! I'm so sorry all of you are going through this! Tons of prayers and good wishes being sent your way!!!
It will get better!
Shout out to the heaven's for you and the ex hubs. There is nothing worse than growing older and having to face the adult facts that I think we all thought we were immune to... or at least I did. Only old people get diseases or get sick... not me. yeah right. I'll be praying for you girl. I had my gallbladder out and they said I'd feel like a new woman-- I still have the same issues I had before, so I'm not sure what part of new woman I am suppose to feel. We're all in it together-- I'm here if ya need me!
Prayers for both you and your ex will be said tonight and as long as you both need them.
So sorry for all this unexpected, less than good news. I hope things improve quickly. Keep us posted!
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