Before I get started on my little rant here, I would just like to clarify that I will still be blogging once I go back to work. I am not sure when I will squeeze the time in, but I will definitely continue!
Ok, so on to the post here.
My girls think that their father hung the moon. In their eyes, he can do no wrong. (yeah right)
Before we were divorced, they could not wait until he came home in the evenings and they wanted to go everywhere and be with 'daddy' as much as possible. I guess maybe it's a little girl thing. Although I love my dad, I don't remember being quite as close to him as my daughters are with their father. I am glad for that. Truly I am. Even though he was a sucky husband, he rocks in the daddy department.
However, there is one thing that really irks the hell out of me! Every time they go somewhere, they come back with something! Be it, candy, chips, drinks, or toys, daddy always gets them something! Now I can understand that every once in a while, it's ok to buy some sort of treat for your child and I find that to be normal. But every freaking time??
Growing up, I was taught to save and be frugal and to work for things that I want. Recently my girls just had to have the latest Jonas Bro's new CD. Fine, I can deal with that. I told them, clean up your room and as soon as you have it done, I will go and buy the cd. Well, needless to say, the room was spotless and in record time. Fine, I made a deal, I stuck to my word. We went out and bought the cd.
I just don't understand why these "Daddies that hung the moon" can justify buying their children anything and everything that their children ask for. I know that my ex is not the only one, because my boyfriend is guilty of it too. ( He hates when I call him on it, but he knows he is guilty) Kids ask for something, anything, and poof, their wish is granted. I don't believe in buying my childs love and affection, I just do not.
I have bills to pay, groceries to buy and other priorities in life and I just can't see spoiling my children like this. Granted, I do buy them little things that they request but not every single time. I firmly believe, that from an early age, children need to learn that there won't always be times when you can get what you want. Right now it's small things, but what will happen when it's big things, like a car or a place to live!!
Reality will hit one day when you are grown and daddy isn't there to hand you everything on a silver platter. Then what are you going to do?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
15 comments:
I hear ya on this..
My hubby seems to buy them little toys or something everytime we go to Target. Granted Jack needs new underwear and Lily needs a few pairs of shorts..
Does he buy them those things..oh no...
its a random little car for Jack or some ridiculously small littlest pet shop or some other random toy(which they so don't need)..
makes me so mad!
That's so frustrating! It seems like it makes your job so much harder.
When they get older they will realize that its just stuff and all the other fun memories are what really matters. I realy think it is a dad thing my dad spoiled us, it was a trip to ShowBiz Pizza everytime he picked us up followed by a trip to the corner store for a Sugar-Daddy and Yoohoo.
I agree with you. Unfortunately, my husband and I had to learn the HARD way. Our first, now 15,was given everything. He was the first child, grandchild, Godchild, etc. Now even though he is a great kid, he thinks he is entitled to whatever he wants.
I'm sure it does make it hard that one parent endulges and the other, teaches them it has to be earned! You go girl!!
Oh! And congrats on the job!! Great news!
Oh my... I so know what you're saying there. And what I love is that he doesn't have MONEY to send ME for their FOOD... but when they're with him he takes them out to eat for every meal and buys them useless crap.
WHATEVER!
Guilt.....that's all there is to it. He is trying to justify his actions/behavior for leaving you all the way he did.
I agree. I tell my kids, just because we are at the store, does not mean you are walking out of here with something. They are finally starting to get it, and sometimes they don't even ask for stuff. LOL
I think it is guilt because you are divorced and he is not with them all the time. But you are doing the right thing and even though they will kick and scream when you say no, they will appreciate it when they are older.
I would like to say I am in the same boat but my ex is a loser and about to file for bankruptcy so he hardly ever buys my son anything.
Ugh... I'm guilty. I'm always the one who spoils, but James is one, so he has no idea what is going on. This post was a good wakeup call.
HOWEVER- I do not let him have sweets and junk food every day.
I hope you find better luck with this situation!
It's not easy for me to fit my job into my blogging time, but so far i'm managing!!! I agree about buying stuff all the time. Wait til dad says no! He'll learn for himself how he's not doing them any favors.
Buying their affection? And then you feel like the Bad Guy if you object? BTW, I've been thinking of y'all who might be in Gustav's path. Sit tight and try to stay dry--we'll be thinkin' about ya!
I am so with you on this. We are out and the girls ask for something - my response is always "do you have the money? Is this what you want to spend YOUR money on?" And usually it's no.
My mom lives with us. And she spoils them big time. So much so that when we go out, they expect her to get them something. Or they'll ask her to come somewhere with us hoping she'll get them something. It hurts her feelings. But, she made this bed...
That's gotta be tough. Was he like that before you guys divorced? Maybe he's afraid they won't love him anymore since he left. Not that I agree with what he's doing! I'm trying to teach Tiger she doesn't need something every time we walk in a store.
I think it is daddy guilt. He isn't there to tuck them in every night. So, when they bat their eyes at him and say "Please, Daddy"...there's no way to say no. I think our kids know that and play it. Believe me, they are just learning to manipulate the situation.
My 12 year old thinks I'm the meanest mum in the world A LOT because I tend to say no. I make him work for certain things, he has to save for others but occasionally I will get him a little something whether it's his favorite gum, takeout, clothing etc. Kids have to learn that they can't have everything handed to them, they have to earn it.
Post a Comment